People are “porcupine-ical” in the sense of their being both in need of one another and yet hurtful of one another. In the cold winter of life we draw together for comfort and warmth, yet inevitably end up hurting one another, drawing back in hurt, sometimes with anger and mistrust. It’s a kind of oscillating dance of relational reciprocity.
We may like and love one another, yet because of our imperfections, whether intended or not, we end up at times pricking and hurting one another with the pointed, sharp quills of our imperfect human nature.
Holiday times can be both joyful and stressful. When under too much distress, our ordinary coping skills and energies can become drained and depleted, and all it takes is some minor mishap to trigger a “firing of quills” — a displacement of energy onto an unfortunate target. Remember the phrases “the straw that broke the camel’s back” and “I have a straw to pick with you” ?
Blessed are those relationships in which one or both partners can say from the heart such things as: “Let’s take a brief time out and then talk”, “Please forgive me”, “I’m sorry”, “I really value you”, “I love you, no matter what”, “I’m proud of you”, “May I help you”, “thank you”. Such can heal and renew.
To be sure, we each and all have imperfections, flaws and cracks —
that’s how the love and light gets in.
So remember, if you really love someone, carry bandaids.
😉
ron bell
12-11-16