(Left side, front to back): Kelsey, me, Mrs. Becky Marquez; (Center): Mr. Bullit Marquez; (Right side, front to back): Jelyn, Gabriel, Leo
This past weekend Kelsey and I were graciously taken in for a two-day homestay by Mrs. Becky Marquez, the Dean of Student Affairs, and her family. We were picked up Saturday morning and took a day trip to Tagaytay, a city a few hours (with traffic) south of Manila. We went with Mrs. Becky and her three adult children – Leo (26), Jelyn (24), and Gabriel (21). Tagaytay is known as “the city on the edge” – the edge of a volcanic crater, that is. It’s most notable attraction is its stunning view of Lake Taal, a freshwater lake in the midst of which is another volcano. It’s a volcano within a freshwater lake – within a volcano which is itself in another lake. The city of Taal can also be seen, where we will be going to do a Southern Cultural Exposure in a week or so.
After taking in the sights (which were a bit foggy, but it wasn’t raining, so all-in-all a win), we were treated to lunch at Bag of Beans, a beautiful little courtyard restaurant tucked away down some steps and under a big tree. When we parked on the side of the road, I was confused as to where the restaurant was. But after turning a corner and descending some stairs, I was in wonder at how charming the place was. Kelsey and I both had fresh fish native to Lake Taal.
At the Wholeness Farm
After lunch, we visited a Women’s and Ecology Wholeness Farm connected with St. Scholastica’s, and then stopped at an open-air fruit market where Mrs. Becky bargained to find papaya, dragonfruit, pineapple, passionfruit, and avocado at dirt-cheap prices (selling fruit is a backyard income for many families who are blessed to have a fruit-bearing tree on their property). Later that evening, we got to sample them along with some langka (jackfruit) from the Marquez’s very own tree. The passionfruit was made into juice and it was so incredibly sarap (delicious)!
The Marquez’s langka (jackfruit) tree
Sampling the homegrown langka, dragonfruit bought from the market, and a delicious custard pastry called sylvannas bought from a bakery in Tagaytay
The Marquez family, as is typical of middle-class Filipino families, lives in a gated community with guards stationed at the entrance and gates around all the houses and their small courtyards. They also have two “helpers” who clean, do laundry, cook the food, serve the family at the table, and do many other tasks – they sleep in a small room off the kitchen, which is not used by the family. This is the norm for all average middle-class Filipinos. Upper-middle class and wealthy families will have a full staff with separate roles for the maids, cooks, and a driver, but one or two is common even among those with a modern income. They become like part of the family. Labor and service is extremely cheap here, but employing househelp is also necessary for the economy, as it provides an income and a roof for lower-class women who in many cases have an elementary education or lower.
(On the subject of driving, knowing how to drive is a class distinction, because it means you have a car to drive – although many of the very wealthy have drivers for the cars and don’t know how to drive either. Regardless, driving in the city is very stressful, so many forgo it. Although her husband and children know how to drive, Mrs. Becky never learned and just has her family take her places).
At the house we also met “Bullit” Marquez, Mrs. Becky’s husband, and award-winning photographer, and their two dogs: Boone and Peeve. Leo, Jelyn, and Gabriel all live at home with their parents still – here in the Philippines, it’s expected that employed adult children will stay with their parents. In fact, even once the child gets married, moving out is a delicate and sensitive matter and needs to be done so as not to offend or wound the family’s reputation or pride. Married couples will often move in or near to the wife’s family and attend the wife’s family’s parish, as the wife’s family takes precedence. It was my impression from this weekend that (even though Mrs. Becky’s parents have both passed) her parents took the primary importance in the family’s life (and still do – they live in Mrs. Becky’s family home with many of her parent’s belongings and photos still displayed, and they light a candle at their tomb at church every Sunday).
The Marquez home
With Jesus and Mary on the gate
Lovely little courtyards on their property
The family shrine
The statue at UP representing intellectual freedom
Sunday we visited the University of the Philippines (or “UP”), where Gabriel goes to school, and after lunch we went to Greenhills, a labyrinthine market in the back of a mall where Mrs. Becky haggled for us and scored us some extremely cheap handicrafts and other things. I scored three freshwater pearl jewelry sets from the southern island of Mindanao for P850 – the equivalent of less than $20. I am happy to report that I am now officially done with all of my souvenir and gift shopping for friends and family back home.
Sunday evening we accompanied the family to mass at the St. Alphonsus Mary de Liguori Parish. It was an absolutely beautiful building (and had holy water in conch shells at the entrance). Although I’m not Catholic and did not actively participate in the prayers, songs, or communion, it was very interesting to observe the service. Afterwards, we went with the family to light candles for deceased family and friends.
The parish (Photo courtesy of Flickr.com)
The interior of the parish after evening mass
It was really a lovely weekend full of good food and good company. The Marquez family was so hospitable and we were very comfortable. It was also nice to see a different side of Manila and experience how a middle-class family lives, as our dorm near St. Scholastica’s is in a much more heavily-trafficked, less residential, and poorer part of the city.
Making rounds to light candles