RSS Feed

March, 2011

  1. Running with Reggie?

    March 3, 2011 by Tommy Titan

    Dear Tommy,

    Rumor has it that you will be teaming up with Reggie Redbird for the Run for Hope on April 2nd at ISU. How are you feeling about working with your cross-town rival? What benefits of working with the organization Homes of Hope specifically influenced your decision to contribute? Do you have any advice for students considering participation in the run? Can you give me these answers as soon as possible?


    Dear MARY,

    I love rumors.  They are often scandalous, salacious and sensational.  When they aren’t founded in any reality they are even more fun.

    This particular rumor is true but not particularly scandalous—except that I’m working with Retchy Redbird.  I am working with that dirty dirtbag of a mascot only because it’s a very worthwhile cause.  I like the fact that the mission of the organization is twofold, both providing affordable housing for low-income and homeless families and giving individuals with addiction problems a healthy outlet and chance to be productive.

    My advice for students thinking about participating is to get on a training regimen—yesterday.  We need to show ISU what IWU is about.  Small but mighty.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against the ISU kids, but I expect you all to run circles around those snot-nosed twerps until they beg for mercy, throw their hands up in defeat and cry to their mommies.  Not that this is a competitive thing.  It’s all for a good cause.

    Oh, and was that response fast enough for you, Miss Impatient?  Geez, if you’re half as demanding of yourself, you’re going to run faster than anyone next month.