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Protest the Urge to Protest

February 18, 2011 by Tommy Titan

Dear Tommy,

With all these protests in the news recently, I’ve been thinking about whether or not we as Wesleyan students should be banding together to enact change on campus—like demanding that Friday classes be canceled when the weather is nice like this or demanding that professors give out extra credit for fashion sense.  What do you think?

–PRO TESTER

Dear TESTER,

I appreciate that you’re staying up on your world news, and I admire your revolutionary spirit.  With your penchant for riling up the masses—and your keen sensitivity to the aesthetic—I might suggest you consider not the role of mutineer but instead focus your energy on mascotting.  While the job here is taken, there is always work for someone with your skill set.  You could try a local high school or even fast food chain.  Now get out there and whip a crowd into a frenzy—and know that whether it’s over touchdowns or cheeseburgers, you’ll be doing God’s work.

–Tommy


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