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August, 2009

  1. My Goodness!

    August 28, 2009 by Tommy Titan

    Dear Tommy,
    What do you think of the My Goodness tab on MyIWU?  Specifically, what’s your favorite addition?
    –SARAH

    Dear SARAH,

    I like my home here on the My Goodness tab.  It’s cozy being smack-dab in the middle of all the MyIWU tabs.  And I really enjoy the new Amazing Art and Photo of the Week channels.  If I could eat I’d be excited about the menu channel, too.  Because I have no hands, I can’t click on any other tabs to see other content, but this tab is shaping up.  But my favorite channel?  It’s got to be Ask Tommy.  Look at me.  Am I beautiful?  And where else are you going to get the kind of unfiltered advice and information that I share here weekly?  Hmm?  Any guesses?  NOWHERE, THAT’S WHERE!  NOW GET VOTING FOR ME ON THIS WEB POLL!  The SAGA channel is beating me?!  Are you SERIOUS?!

    –Tommy


  2. Our Hero, the Foodie

    August 21, 2009 by Tommy Titan

    Dear Tommy,
    Can you tell me more about (Saga) Dave Nicholson–The Man, The Myth, The Legend? Is it true he once defended the Saga steps from an army of 10,000 with only 300 Sodexho Warriors and their dinner-tray shields?
    –STILL ON THE MEALPLAN

    Dear Mealplan,

    It is true.  Except it was more like 20,000.  Those who were there say Admissions held an Open House that coincided with Nina Gordon’s cello camp, a Mathletes competition, and the Midwest Lineman’s Camp.  By 11:45am on that fateful day a rumble so terrible and fantastic grew on the humble SAGA steps as to test the very foundation of the Memorial Center.  While many cowered in the deep freezer or retreated to the sanctuary of the Turfler Room, Saga Dave Nicholson gathered his aproned finest at the front doors and engaged the hungry mob.

    Many fell to the spork that day, and I cannot recount the gallons of Thousand Island spilt–but when the glaze of the last delicious Saga doughnut had crackled to the linoleum, one man stood proud.  That man is Dave Nicholson–Saga Dave Nicholson–whose name is synonymous with culinary heroism.

    –Tommy


  3. Dancing Better than the Stars

    August 7, 2009 by Tommy Titan

    Dear Tommy,
    Who do you think is the better dancer in his prime: Evan Kasprzak or Patrick Swayze?
    –DANCE FAN

    Dear FAN,

    This is a great question.  While Swayze had the long and lean musculature of a young Tommy Titan back in his Dirty Dancing days, Evan’s work ethic, charisma, and passion for dance come through in every routine.  If I could, I would give Swayze’s coifed mane to Evan, along with Jennifer Grey’s reconstructed nose, and Evan Kasprzak would be an absolute dance machine—too glorious for direct viewing and destined for world domination.

    –Tommy